Why I am this way (Masochism)

I've heard a lot of theories about why people are into BDSM. Especially when talking about masochists. I've heard that it has to do with abuse, or neglecting parents, or with trauma of some kind. And for some people, maybe that's right. But not for me. For me, that's a bunch of bullshit.

Did I have the perfect childhood? No. My parents divorced when I was young, my mother was an alcoholic and my dad was not very emotionally available. But I wasn't abused. I wasn't neglected. There was no trauma. Nothing happened that made me decide I wanted to have the shit kicked out of me.

I don't want to live out my fantasies

Once, I talked to a friend about sexual fantasies. She told me that she doesn't have fantasies anymore; she just makes phone calls. Given how much of her life sounds like a letter to a 'gentleman's' magazine, that made some sense to me.

But then I thought about it. And either her life is way, WAY worse than I thought it was, or she is not that creative, or she's lying.

My guess is that she's lying. Not intentionally. Just that she doesn't quite realize what she's saying.

Skill or Talent

Writing is easy.

No, seriously, it is. Anyone can do it. Just about anyone can learn to do it well. It's like all art. That's right, I'm saying all art is within the grasp of every idiot out there. The only question is a question of quality. And that quality comes from a combination of two things: talent and skill.

You can get pretty far with one of those two things, even if you have practically none of the other. The really talented writer might have ideas so brilliant, so pervasive, that the whole world will want to read the stories, even if they aren't very well written or, worse, include vampires that sparkle. On the other hand, with enough skill, you can be very successful. Enough skill and you can tell a story about a midget bringing a ring to a volcano, and people will forgive your obsessions with languages, your incredible predictability, and even Tom Bombadil.

But put the two together, and you get magic. You get Mozart. Picasso. Hemmingway. Rowling.