Once, I talked to a friend about sexual fantasies. She told me that she doesn't have fantasies anymore; she just makes phone calls. Given how much of her life sounds like a letter to a 'gentleman's' magazine, that made some sense to me.
But then I thought about it. And either her life is way, WAY worse than I thought it was, or she is not that creative, or she's lying.
My guess is that she's lying. Not intentionally. Just that she doesn't quite realize what she's saying.
There are some fantasies that are and should be fulfilled. Fantasy of a threesome? sure, do that. Anonymous sex? if you want. Experimenting with sexuality? Go for it.
But then there are others that you WOULDN'T want to fulfill. Being captured and sold into sexual slavery? Can be a hot fantasy, but the reality is not so attractive. Having sex with person after person, one after another, all night long might make a good fantasy. But the fantasy doesn't have the chafing, the sweat, or the exhaustion. The same can be said for a 24/7 bdsm relationship, or for a really hard core humiliation fantasy. There are things you can do in your mind that are very, very sexy. That really turn you on. But that you would not want to do. Ever.
And there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think it's healthy. I know I make it a point to fantasize in ways that aren't realistic. What's the point of a realistic fantasy? If I want to have a fantasy in which Brittney Spears and Lady Gaga fight to the death for the amusement of the beautiful goddess I am kneeling in front of and servicing orally, I should be able to do that. Hell, if I want to have a fantasy where every woman I've ever thought was attractive was lined up outside my house, just waiting to have a turn with me, I can do that. And if I want to imagine having sex with everyone, male or female, in an entire apartment building, I can do that. You know why? Because in that apartment building, ALL of them will be attractive. And ALL of them will want to do what I want to do. And ALL of them will think I'm great at it. And NONE of them will get pregnant, NONE of them will get overly emotionally attached, and NONE of them will have any kind of disease.
What are the odds of that actually happening in real life? What are the odds of finding even one such building? One in ten? One in a trillion? Zero? Probably somewhere around there.
No, I don't want to actually do that. I don't want to do a lot of the things I fantasize about. But the mind is its own sexual organ, and it likes to be entertained with new things. With greater and greater extremes. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.
In fact, I'd encourage it, if I were you. My fantasy life is pretty wild, and yours can be too.
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