The speed bumps in life

If life was a simple journey from point A to point B, without any kind of curves, hills, or bumps along the way, it would be a profoundly boring experience. And yet, that seems to be what we all want, or at least, what we all plan for.

I plan my life all the time. I used to plan by five year chunks, figuring that farther than that was too far to really be able to prepare for. As I got older, that chunk shrunk to two years, then to one. And even still, I find myself derailed every so often.

You can hope that life will follow the rails you lay down, but the universe tends to put quarters down on the track. And unlike the urban legend, these quarters actually do derail you.


So you're going to get derailed. Get used to it and accept it. The sooner you do that, the better off you'll be. I wish someone had drilled that into my head when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, they tried. Everyone, from parents to teachers, tried to tell me that things don't work out the way you plan. But I never believed them. I figured I was the exception. I figured that the reason plans don't always work was simply because people didn't plan well enough. With a loose enough plan and enough awareness of the possible options to come, you can handle the odd curve ball. I thought I could plan things out in such a way that my plan, at least, would go right.

And the universe, seeing that I wasn't getting the message the easy way, decided to pound me from every direction until, eventually, I either shattered into a thousand pieces or accepted the life gets derailed.

So I'm accepting it, hoping that the universe will get the message and stop pounding on me. Life doesn't go as planned.

Read that again. I'm not saying that life doesn't always go as planned. I'm saying that life does not go as planned. No matter how well you plan, no matter how well you scheme or how many variables you take into account, life does not follow the plan.

You have to accept that. And, as a corollary, you have to accept that it is not your fault. Like I said, you can work hard, you can prepare for variables; you can do absolutely everything right, and things still won't work out. You still get punched in the face by the universe.

So you need to learn to roll with those punches. You need to know that you're going to get hit, that you can survive that hit, and that it's not your fault that you got hit.

We are not judged by our successes. We are judged by how we handle our failures.

And yes, that advice is for me as much as for anyone else.