Conversations with The Doctor (1)

I have insomnia. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I leave my body to rest and go and have a little chat on the TARDIS with everyone's favorite Timelord. These are transcripts of those conversations.

For the record, in my head the Doctor is usually David Tennant, though sometimes he is Matt Smith. And I know he's got something else he's trying to figure out. I'm just not sure what, yet. I do imagine him to be generally friendly though...

How to make life fair.

You may have noticed: I'm obsessed with fairness. I think that life SHOULD be fair. I know it isn't. I know that most things aren't fair, but that doesn't matter, they should be.

It's a losing battle, trying to make everything fair. You end up sacrificing a lot, because you can't take advantage of things if you want them to be fair; you have to close the loop holes, you have to reduce the unfairness that's in your favor.

Know when to walk away

Eight months ago, I wrote about 'losing' a hobby. I talked about taking a break from my hobby for a while, and how I wanted to make sure I didn't go back and become one of those ass holes that made me want to leave in the first place.

Well, I went back. I actually went back after barely a month off. I went back with a new character, one I enjoyed playing. I played a character I could have fun with, where I could just role play and not have to worry about the way game was run or who was in charge. I could just play.

And for a while, things were good. I was having fun at game, I was getting some good role playing, some fun challenges, all that kind of stuff.

Why no politics?

You have probably noticed by now that throughout this entire cycle, I have refrained from talking about politics. It's not that I don't have opinions, not that I don't want to shape the opinions of others. It's that there's no point.

Think about it. On a social media site, you are posting something for your friends to see. Your friends likely have similar views and opinions to you; that's why you're friends. So when you post something angry about one campaign or the other, you're just yelling at a group of people who feel the same outrage. You're preaching to the choir.

Advice, hypocracy, and ignorance: cornerstones of our society

People ask me for advice a lot. Usually, I'm lax to give it. But the reason I don't want to give it has nothing to do with the quality of my advice. I think I'm always giving good advice. If I thought it was bad, I wouldn't want to give it.

It's like believing you're always right; if you believed you were wrong, wouldn't you change your mind?

No, that's not why I don't like giving advice. I don't like giving it for two reasons: one, because it isn't always followed; and two, because it doesn't always work.

Why do I think that's hot?

When I walk around outside, one of the things I do is count pairs of boots. I count how many pairs of boots that I find sexy walk past me, or walk around me. I don't count Ugs, and sometimes I don't count rain boots. I only count the ones that I find attractive.

Today, I was doing it and wondering why. Why do I find these things so attractive? There was a girl maybe a hundred feet away from me. I could make out that she was wearing jeans, that she had blonde hair, and that she was wearing brown leather boots up to about her knees. And I thought it was incredibly sexy. Why is that?

The impact factor

It is said that on the day of my birth, stock markets around the world crashed. The Bermuda Triangle swallowed a cruise ship, stars in distant galaxies went supernova, and entire civilizations were destroyed by the aftermath.
And by 'It is said,' I mean just now. I just said it.

Some of it, in theory, is true. But that's all just coincidence. The truth of it is that my life hasn't had all that much of an impact on the universe at large. Or, really, even the planet.

Depression is an asshole

One of the most common things people are told when they are depressed is to 'get over it.' We are told to just feel better, to buck up, to stop feeling so down on ourselves. I'm not going to talk about how stupid that is. ("Just stop being depressed? why didn't I think of that?")

No, instead I want to talk about the other side of the argument. Because we say those same things to ourselves. We tell ourselves to get better. We tell ourselves to stop being so upset about everything, to stop feeling so down. That not everything is as bad as it looks, that things aren't all our fault.

Gender, genetics, and the mind

What is gender? For most people, that's an easy question. So easy that they don't even understand why someone would ask.

It's just gender, you know?

Well, okay. How many genders are there?

Two. Male or Female.

What about the transgendered? What about someone born male but dressed and acting female?

Still either male or female.

Okay. How about when someone defies the categories of gender entirely? Neither trying to act like a man nor trying to act like a woman. But rather intentionally acting in such a way that defies both genders?

Okay, fine. Three genders. I still don't see your point.

What is Manly?

I was reading something recently about manliness, and it got me thinking. What are the qualities of being 'Manly'? What does it mean? what activities are or are not 'Manly'?

I consider myself a man. My genetics, my physical appearance, and the choices I make in my formation of my identity all support that decision. The gender I perform is male. But is that the same thing?

I don't like sports. I don't like playing them, I don't like watching them. I think fantasy football is just dungeons and dragons for people too chicken to admit they like role playing games. I don't mind sports movies, but only because they only show the best stuff with the most drama.

Fantasy, reality, and the internet

Hi there. You're sitting down, presumably, and reading these words on a computer screen. So far as I'm aware, there isn't a print version of this blog, at least not yet. I bring it up because those are the things you can know for sure. Those are the realities of this blog.

I pretend that this blog has over a million subscribers, which is completely false. It's a fantasy, a lie developed so that I can feel like I'm reaching a whole lot of people with my ramblings.

Or maybe I'm lying. Maybe I say that no one is reading this, but actually, the stats on the site are ridiculous. Maybe you think you're the only one you know who reads this, but maybe everyone does. Maybe you all just don't want to talk about it.

I can understand why. I talk about life lessons and SFW stuff most of the time, but there are also some pretty hardcore fetish fantasy stories on here. And knowing that the borderline pornography (or blatant porn) is the most popular, maybe you're just nervous about letting other people know what you like, or about them thinking you enjoy something that you don't.

The point is, we can't be sure. Maybe everything I say is a lie. Maybe it's all true. There's no way to be completely certain.

The speed bumps in life

If life was a simple journey from point A to point B, without any kind of curves, hills, or bumps along the way, it would be a profoundly boring experience. And yet, that seems to be what we all want, or at least, what we all plan for.

I plan my life all the time. I used to plan by five year chunks, figuring that farther than that was too far to really be able to prepare for. As I got older, that chunk shrunk to two years, then to one. And even still, I find myself derailed every so often.

You can hope that life will follow the rails you lay down, but the universe tends to put quarters down on the track. And unlike the urban legend, these quarters actually do derail you.

Useless skills

I think a lot of us have useless skills. It's like being good at Trivial Pursuit. By definition, the information in that game is without purpose. It's trivial. So if you're good at it, your pursuits are trivial.

But it goes beyond that. I think we all have skills that aren't useful. Some of them we came across honestly. By that I mean some of them we developed thinking that they would be useful. Like learning to fight as a child. It's good to know. But how often, as an adult, are you going to need that skill?

How do we process bdsm?

I think this is a question we all need to ask ourselves, and ask ourselves many times. Some people seem to think that once a scene is over, that's it, and they can walk away and all is well. But that just isn't true.

 
I'm thinking particularly of a humiliation scene. If the woman I love calls me a pathetic piece of shit, a worm not worthy of a woman, a fag who is too scared to admit that he doesn't like girls... well, afterwards, I want her to reassure me that she doesn't actually feel that way. I need aftercare. 

And it's not just humiliation that needs aftercare. a good whipping sometimes needs to be followed with gentle back rubbing. The sub needs to be told that they are worthwhile, that they are loved, and that they are safe.

 
But that's what the dom does. What about the sub? What's our job after the scene is over?

Is Financial Domination a scam?

I've seen a good number of people advertising for financial domination, and I have to say, it has gotten me wondering. Could such a thing actually work, or is it just a scam, people taking advantage of gullible submissives for their own financial gain?

To answer that question, I think the best strategy is to try to develop a way that it COULD work. That is, in what situation would there be financial domination without anyone being taken advantage of?

Well, it seems to me like the major thing that matters with the fantasy of financial domination is the loss of control, the humiliation of it. Humiliation I can identify with.

A couple of old posts about boots

I was going through an older blog and decided that there were a few things I wanted to repost...

What do I like about boots?

It's a huge question. One that involves lots of meandering. So I figured I'd post it here.

It's a fetish. That's the long and short of it. I don't know why it's a fetish, but it is. All my life, when a girl (or guy) has been wearing boots, it has instantly made them more attractive to me. Boots are almost more important than any other feature (which is weird, since boots can be changed so easily).

So what am I, exactly?

Every so often, I'll write about bdsm or fetish related things. I've noticed those are the most popular posts, for whatever that's worth. Regardless, one of the things that I often wonder about is where I fit. What am I? How do I identify myself, sexually speaking?

When I meet someone who seems to be or is transgendered, I like to ask them how they identify themselves. If someone identifies as male, I will use male pronouns for him. If she identifies as female, same thing.

That may be a bad example; I'm not transgendered. I identify as male. But what about other things?

All or nothing thinking

When I was younger, my mother started making changes to her life. Not little changes, either. Huge sweeping changes, like divorcing my father or moving half way across the country and changing careers. Dad told me that it was 'All or nothing' thinking, that mom would decide that she was unhappy, and the only solution was to change everything.

Was he bitter? probably. I do need to take what he said with a grain of salt. But the principle has stuck with me, and I've always been worried when I start to change things in my life. Am I just depressed and trying to change everything, or is there real reason to do it?

The perfect job

There is a secret to happiness in life. Several of them, in fact. But the one that has always rang the truest for me is the one about how to find the perfect job.

The goal, essentially, is to find something that you love to do, and then find someone to pay you to do it. Or, more simply, to con someone into paying you to play.

We all have our own definitions of play. And that's fine. The idea is just to get paid to do it. Not everyone can manage that. How many people think of janitorial work as play? Or accounting? Or retail? Maybe some people do; I don't know. But there are probably some jobs that are just jobs, that people do because they need the money, and not because they love it (like telemarketing).

What makes a brilliant moron

People often ask me why I chose the moniker of Brilliant Moron. They ask why I call myself an idiot, and why I say I'm smart. To save time, I thought I would answer it all at once. In reverse order.

Why I say I'm smart
Well, because I am. I'm well educated (2 MAs and a PhD), but I'm also very clever. Unfortunately, there isn't really a way to MEASURE intelligence outside of education, and as you all know, I think education is a bad standard. You should only get as much education as you need.